When my mum had my big sister Charlotte in 1988 followed by me on 7th February 1991 and both births didn't have any complications. But when I was 3 or 4 years old I started showing signs that I was different than those around me. At that time I was diagnosed with Expressive and Receptive Language Disorder. But when I was 8 years old I was still showing signs that I was different and the headmaster and staff at Methodise Jr. & Infant primary school noticed that there was something wrong with me. I was assessed and diagnosed with Borderline Autism and Express and Receptive Language Disorder. But in November 2018 I visited my GP twice and got referred for an assessment. Since then I waited 9 months for the assessment and the first assessment was a screening assessment at Manygates Clinic and they asked me a series of questions from your childhood to to now. I never had any imaginary friends, my big sister had imaginary friends, I would look away when learning something at school and preferred to be by myself, I feel isolated at family gatherings such as Christmas parties and weddings, all things that a person with autism have including struggling with other things such as being more independent. After that assessment they said that I was probably autistic.
On 11/09/19 I went back for a diagnostic assessment at Manygates Clinic which meant doing different activities such as telling what you see in a children's picture book as well as being asked questions about my past and what I'm currently like today. But they noticed signs of autism that I was displaying such as running my fingers through my hair. After that assessment they said that I'm possibly autistic.
On 28/10/19 I went back to Manygates Clinic for an outcome appointment and it turned out that I actually autism.
Autism has affected me in so many ways:
I Find it hard to understand what others are thinking, feeling and not understanding abstract concepts
I take things literally such as sarcasm
I Need extra time to process information or answering questions
I Repeat what's being said
I find it hard to form friendship
Seeking time alone when being overloaded with information
Appear to behave strangely or in a way that someone would think it's inappropriate
Having a routine everyday and I get anxious if it changes
I Forget to say 'please' or 'thank you'
I am sensitive to the sound of fireworks, pyrotechnics or anything that makes a bang noise
I have a high interest in anything such baking, art, reading and watching TV and movies
I Get anxious over unfamiliar situations
I find it hard to say how I feel
I can seem blunt, rude or not interested in other things without meaning
I tend to not to understand social rules such as not talking over people
I avoid eye contact
I like planning things carefully before doing anything
I am surprised that going to the cinema to see a regular showing of a film doesn't bother me at all. I mean there are autistic friendly showings but I can deal with a regular showing no matter if the film contains bangs and flashes.
When I make friends I do tend to explain to them that people with autism are vulnerable and easy targets for bullying. My favourite storyline in the Korean series 'Tomorrow' is about a girl called Non Eun-bi who was bullied at school and was forced to smile and laugh every time she hears the sound of a clicking pen. This lead her to having thoughts of ending everything. But when actors Rowoon, Yoon Ji-on and Kim Hee-sun arrived at the scene they reassured her that she has a lot to live for. That storyline really got to me and I know what it's like to be a bully victim. I should know because one time me and who I thought was my friend (the bully) was sitting next to me in science class and she pinned me down onto the desk, held both my arms behind my back and punched me in the back. Thankfully the science teacher saw what happened and she got excluded from school and put on tracker for months at a time because I wasn't the only person she bullied. She bullied almost everyone from years 7-12.
I also remember back from 2014-2016 I joined Whatsapp because of a friend I made in college wanted us to start talking on it. But throughout 2016 she gave me way too many grief both on Whatapp and Facebook messenger as she kept not responding to my messages and leaving group chats on messenger multiple times even though she keeps telling me that it's her computer doing it when really she doesn't want anything to do with me and two other friends. And every time when we arrange to meet up with the two other friends she never shows up. That does explain why I take things literally. But it does also explain why am I vulnerable and an easy target to do something that I don't want to do. So if you want me to talk to you or someone on a different social media thing I would like to ask you to please do not ask me to do something that I don't want to do! because I like to keep my social media accounts to bare minimum which is Facebook, Instgram and Twitter. The reason why I'm begging anyone about this is because back in January 2020 another ex friend who I used to volunteer alongside with at The British Heart Foundation charity shop asked me to go for a coffee after she had to put her pet dog down. And after we had that coffee we went to a pub for a drink and she kept asking me to stay with her. But I had to go home because my mum has my tea ready and waiting. After that my mum asked me if I did wanted to go to a pub and I didn't answer, which means that I was talked into something that I didn't want to do. She and I haven't been friends since then. Come to think of it I can't remember us being friends at all because she moved to a different school as she was a bully victim at the same high school at the same time as me.
No matter how autism affects me my friends and family wouldn't have me any different.
When I was eight years old I went for an assessment and was only diagnosed with a speech and language disorder and borderline autism. Back then what was know as disability living allowance now called Personal Independence Payment (or PIP for short) was taken away from and my parents tried appealing for it on my behalf and lost the appeal. Since I entered my mid-late twenties I have been fighting to receive PIP benefits but kept denying it. However when I was twenty-eight years old I was formally diagnosed with autism and for the next three years I have applied for PIP three more times and kept denying it.
Not long after I turned thirty-one early this year I received the results of the PIP assessment and once again was denied of it, my mum phoned the DWP (Department of Work and Pension) to reconsidered their decision. However they didn't change their minds, which made me even more determined to fight for what is right. Weeks after my thirty-first birthday I filed for appeal. Weeks after I filed the appeal I received a court date for 12th August 2022 at eleven o'clock in the morning at Wakefield Civil Justice Centre. Just to be clear for those who are thinking of appealing against the decision it could take up to six months for the court date to arrive.
Once I received my court date I sent a piece of evidence of what I'm like with autism both at home and when I'm volunteering at The British Heart Foundation charity shop. When the week of the court date had finally arrived I convinced myself that I wasn't going to win the appeal. But I didn't lose hope.
Friday 12/08/22 arrived and I was feeling extremely nervous from the moment I woke up and that's because I was attending my first appeal let alone court day. Also to mention we were in a middle of a summer heatwave that month. My mum was my representative and attended the court appeal with me because who know their daughter better then a parent. We did have to ask my big sister Charlotte to sit with my dad since he had a stroke whilst were away just in case. When we arrived at the court house we went through security, showed where to go and made our way to the top floor. When we got to the top floor we waited for the clerk to come out to speak to us. I can't remember what the clerk mostly said but I do remember that she said that I wasn't allowed to rely on my mum to answer all of the questions as they will consider it as masking. Thankfully I put on my big girl face on that morning. We did get told that it were a few minuets late but when we were called in we faced a judge, a doctor and a disability expert. I mostly answered all of the question and even displayed signs of autism, like running my fingers through my hair. It's what we call stimming. The disability expert asked about my daily activities such as cooking and preparing a meal. I tried to answer that question as best I could and my mum explained that I can't cook or prepare a meal without being supervised in case I make a mistake or hurt myself as I can't sense danger. When the doctor asked about my mobility both me and my mum explained that I can't get about without assistance from a family member or a friend. For example I can get a bus to Leeds from Wakefield. But once I get there I wouldn't know which way to go in order to meet up my friends. They did ask what would happen if I ask someone for directions I answered that I would have either anxiety or panic attacks when speaking to someone who I don't know and my mum explained as to why I have assistance from someone. I do clearly remember the doctor asked me how long does it take for me to walk from my house to Wakefield City Centre. I answered 20-25 minuets and once the doctor heard my answer he was astonished to figure out that the walking distance is over 1 mile (1.2 miles to be exact). After what felt like really long minuets the hearing was over and both me and my mum were asked to wait for their decision in the waiting room. Mum texted my big sister Charlotte if she doesn't mind staying with dad a little longer and thankfully she didn't mind at all. Ten minuets later we were called back into the court room and right in front of us was the decision document. It didn't take me very long to read it as the result was that they decided that I am entitled to receive PIP. I scored four points for all three daily living criterias which equals twelve points. But for mobility I scored twelve points. After the appeal hearing me and my mum went home and the first people I wanted to tell that we won the appeal was my sister and my dad. To this day I still couldn't believe that I won my very first hearing appeal. I has been a very long gruelling battle with twenty-three years in the making but it was worth it.